True Believers? Nope

“If that’s true, then I like baseball even less than I thought I did.”

-- My husband

You’d think that I’d be mild to moderately dismayed to hear that particular comment from M, because I do like baseball and it’s just easier in our household when we like the same stuff. (I’m not talking about agreement to the extent that you lose independence or anything. But it’s truly more convenient when we both want to watch the same thing on TV, and that’s not necessarily the case when I want to watch baseball.)

But in this case, I completely agree with M. Why? Because we were talking about the Yankees -- specifically, the concept of a “True Yankee.”

As I often tell anyone who will listen, I hate the Yankees for the simple reason that they take a lot of fun out of the game. I understand that, generally speaking, capitalism is a good thing, and that if there’s demand for your product, you should be able to charge what the market will bear. A corollary: if supply and demand means you end up with more money than anyone else, that should be okay. But you know what? It’s not. At least, it’s not to me. (M and I spent a lot of time debating this when watching the "Commanding Heights" DVDs. I kept getting upset that market-based reform in South America left a lot of people in poverty, while M kept arguing that it’s still completely better than the central-planning alternative.)

You can argue all day about whether it’s “right” or “wrong,” I suppose, but in the case of baseball, the fact that the Yankees have goo-gobs more money than anyone else means a very uneven playing field. Even George Will -- generally a pro-market forces guy -- has a problem with that.

So I don't like the Yankees, and it turns my stomach a bit to hear people bandy about the concept of them getting Torii. At the same time, if the Yanks do want him and are willing to pay him what he deserves (something that the Twins don’t seem likely to do, despite his having a career year and repeatedly saying he’d like to stay here), then I certainly couldn’t blame him for going. Not just because of what it would mean to his career, but also because of the prestige of playing with the Yankees. Or so I tried to explain to M the other night.

He responds, “What does that mean? They’re a completely bought team, which is practically the same as cheating. What prestige is in that?” (Ah, so he has been listening to me rant!)

To answer his question, I try to explain a concept that I myself barely understand: what it means to be a “True Yankee.” I say that there seems to be this perception, not just in New York, that playing for the Yankees means attaining the pinnacle of baseball. It’s almost another form of getting “called up.” And then drilling down deeper, there’s yet another level of éclat: the “True Yankee.” What does that mean?

• Jay Mohr (he’s an expert on baseball now?) seems to think it's about a calling. He writes, “Some guys are meant to be Yankees and some are not.”
• FJM defines a “True Yankee” in their glossary as “A guy who’s full of intangible qualities that help him triumph -- with class.”
• (Of course -- and this is one reason I love FJM -- they also say: If you ever -- ever -- hear someone use the phrase "True Yankee," for any reason, I want you to find the nearest exit, form an orderly line, and leave the premises quickly and calmly. Seek shelter. Cover head. Report the incident to your nearest FJM representative immediately. You are in great danger, because the person you are talking to is an idiot.)

But the best “explanation” of the concept I’ve seen was in an E-Sports posting, wherein Billy Davis writes:

There's a distinction between wearing the pinstripes and being a New York Yankee. You're not a Yankee just because Bob Sheppard says so. Being a Yankee isn't about statistics or salary or track record. People who unbendingly argue that there is no such thing as a "True Yankee" wouldn't be able to see Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other ballplayers if they were in "Field of Dreams". They don't believe. And if you ask any diehard baseball fan, believing is what makes baseball so exceptional.

True Yankees are like your grandmother's signature chocolate chip cookies -- imperfectly perfect, special, and completely genuine. Other chocolate chip cookies are good. You accept them. You try them, yet all the while you know that your grandmother's cookies will always be True.

Let’s ignore the fact that Davis doesn’t know to put the period inside the quotation marks and move on to how much his comments nauseate me. They imply that Yankee fans -- and especially those who acknowledge this fallacious concept -- are purer. Chosen, in a way, because they are the real believers in the poetry part of baseball.

Bullsquat. Offensive, even. But as I said, it’s the existence of this very notion that makes me understand why Torii would go to New York in a heartbeat and with a spring in his step. Not just for the $60 million over four years, but because there’s this idea of maybe being a True Yankee, whether or not such a thing really exists, and what that would do for his -- for lack of a better word -- legacy. And that, I explained to M, is why if Steinbrenner comes calling, it’s all over for us.

At which point, my husband said, ““If that’s true, then I like baseball even less than I thought I did.”

And I totally get that.